When I was a young child, every summer visiting the local movie rental store, I would take out shark documentaries

They instilled fear with fascination and even swimming in a pool with my eyes closed created anxiety - as if, once I opened them, I would see I had been inexplicably transported to an open ocean with a shark directly behind me, in pursuit. 

*****

This shark's name is CubsWin. He was the closest tagged shark near our shore in New Hampshire this past weekend. 

Species: Blue Shark (Prince Glauca)
Gender: Male
Stage of Life: Adult
Length: 9ft 8in
Weight: 209 lb
Tag Date: Oct. 18 2016
Tag Location: Cape Cod, MA
Total Travel: 11491.501 miles

I found him (and many tagged species) here; a site dedicated to,

"generating critical scientific data related to tracking (telemetry) and biological studies of keystone marine species such as great white and tiger sharks, in conjunction with conservation outreach and education at a measurable global scale." 

I could (and have now) spend hours on this site, investigating the paths of these animals, which I have found to be most visually fascinating. 

CubsWin's path.

And you see that deep indigo? That's the deep ocean - which is obvious but it still socks me in my gut every time I contemplate on it. It's the great unknown, less traversed than infinite space! I start to feel a little anxious again remembering this (that deep indigo) is where I thought I'd be once I opened my eyes surfacing from my grandmother's pool in the Adirondack mountains. 

And then I contemplate on my own depths and paths and, if I was a shark, how they would stand-up to CubsWin's.

A selection from Katy Grannan's portfolio, The 99

If you have any information on how in the world I can watch her documentary The Nine, please, please, let me know - ashleighamhoward@gmail.com

For someone who rolls their eyes when confronted with inspirational quotes

This shook me.

And I can't help but admit to actually loveing this blog, that is comprised (only) of inspirational quotes.

Neil was Melanine Griffith's First Live-In Lion

There are a large handful of vintage photographs cataloging this time in Melanie's life when she was 14 years old. Her mother, actress Tippi Hedren, was inspired by big cats after a trip to Africa and was encouraged by a trainer, for unexplainable reasons, to live with a lion to get a better idea of what they're like.

While grotesquely privileged and irresponsible at a epic scale - the photographs themselves are nothing short of astonishing.

I encourage you to google this. It's bizarre and fascinating. Here's a link to one article.

That time we smoked weed right before making a mess of you in the kitchen with a fruit I hadn't known you're allergic to

I still remember you smiling like this last photo, even though you have a hard time with messes, and I love you for that.

This is me

eating kimchi and, thanks to Instagram, feeling depressed about my boring and ordinary life;

and remembering the key to freedom is complete acceptance. 

***

This is me transforming, because transformation is often more boring and ordinary than we like to give credit. 

It can be as mundane as eating kimchi.

Female Hikers Should Have High-Laced Boots with “Hungarian Nails”

• Catherine Robbins, Hilda M. Kurth and Kathleen Norris, 1927

Preparations for hiking Vermont’s 270-mile Long Trail, the first long-distance wilderness hiking trail in America, have changed considerably since the first Long Trail Guide was published in 1917. Men were advised to wear “ordinary height shoes with hobnails, felt hat, ‘generous sized’ silk bandana, inch-wide leather belt with cup attached, wool underwear, wool shirt and stout wool trousers,” while female hikers should have high-laced boots with “Hungarian nails,” and wear bloomers.

***

I swoon over many historical 'things', and when I came across an article about these women here, there was no exception.

See more about Catherine Robbins, Hilda M. Kurth and Kathleen Norris here and learn about some of their descendants continuing bad-assery here.

There's a Portrait of T Under the Roller Coaster

I’ve been rolling through a lot of old work lately and drenched in sentimentality. 

Did you know that sentimental art is “bad”? I learned this from an essay passage written in Sally Mann’s, A Thousand Crossings. 

I was floored trying to distinguish how she was able to be “intimate with her subjects without being sentimental”. I get it but it still doesn’t quite compute with me. To be intimate: how can one not be, at least mildly, motivated by a touch of the nostalgic? 

Searching a simple definition of ’Sentimentality’ returned the following:

“Sentimentality originally indicated the reliance on feelings as a guide to truth, but current usage defines it as an appeal to shallow, uncomplicated emotions at the expense of reason.”

If this is true, why do people love Terrence Malick films so much and why isn’t this manipulation extended towards trends? 

...

So, I am going to be spoon feeding you a lot of sentimentality, for at least a little while. Feelings in art may be dangerous but so is being manipulated by trends and I have decided that I no longer want that kind of limitation. 

I have fucking multitudes, by god!